Lately I have been thinking about this box under my bed theme.  The idea came from a survival tactic that I used when I was around 7 or 8--I had a big box that my dad's work boots used to live in.
I put everything that really  meant a lot to me in that cardboard keeper.
Colors, paints, paper, markers, my favorite toys that I hadn't decided I had out grown--at least I wasn't ready to give them up yet--and all of these items were what I needed to survive.
Here is the sad part, I was always worried that we would be kicked out of our house by the evil bank people who drove up in big black 'Lincoln Towncars'.
Dad used to tell us that if we ever ever saw those type of vehicles pull up in front of the house, we should lock the doors and hide.  He was always worried that our house would be 'repoed' and we would be living in a chicken coop.
Those were not fun times.
My safety was inside that box, as long as I could have my box, I didn't care if we had to live in a chicken coop.  I just needed to know that it was there waiting for me when I needed it.
Sometimes I wished that I could just fit in that box and live there along with all of those special things.
So why I am writing about this now?  I guess it has been on my mind for sometime.  In the present atmosphere of terrorism, failing economy and general unsureness, I need my box more than ever.
Now I do have figured out that I am never going to fit inside that box, but I can still remember those feelings.
I carry a new box now, and I still have one special one under my bed.
A lottery of the same items are stored in there, art projects, art media, favorite things, like rain and many more memories; they are just dustier. I am still anchored here by that box, wonder if I will have one forever.
Maybe one of these days the billion dollar lottery ticket will be mine and I will have all of the answers needed for success, health, and happiness.
Guess I will just keep digging and dusting and wondering what adventure waits for me at the bottom of that box.  Maybe it will boring and small or perhaps it might be huge--I will just keep at it and get back to living in the now, until then...